Learning to reject rejection!

Well here goes, Im not really sure why I’m writing about this but I feel its been holding me back since I started my blog as it was initially one of the things I wanted to discuss but didn’t know how, I think! I have been working on myself this past few years, reading, listening to audibles, youtube clips etc so I have become more aware of my thoughts, my feelings, my intuition. My level of awareness has increased and one of the things I’ve learnt about myself is that I have a serious issue with the feeling of rejection. Now it’s not like you might think, it’s not where someone says no to me or rejected an idea I have or anything like that. It’s not that obvious a rejection, its more so where I see people reach out to others for help when I could have helped them, its where people have asked others to babysit even though I was available, its where people go on trips and don’t invite me because I may be too busy, its where people don’t value what I say but the person beside me says it and they think wow incredible lol, its where people have me do something then replace me with someone else even though I was doing a damn good job! See its all silly examples, and the actual act of what they have done is truly no big deal, those things don’t actually affect me but the feeling I get is rejection and that is what hurts me. So as I’ve been delving into it more, trying to figure this out and learn why I feel rejected over such trivial things and why this feeling makes such a huge impact in my life, what  I’ve come to realise is that it stems from my childhood to where I was bullied at secondary school. Even as I write this I’m thinking God I can’t say bullied because I was never physically hurt or it wasn’t too serious but when I really think about it and the impact it had on me, you know what, it was serious. The thing is, I know the girls and I know they actually would never have meant to hurt me the way they did but that’s the thing I want to get across here most. Words can and do hurt! Its not so much even about what they said but its how their words made me feel! I was always a backward person but I truly lost all self belief and confidence in myself. I became the biggest negative self talker that you could ever meet. I didn’t feel that I was enough or worthy or capable to fulfil any of the dreams I had thought of for myself because honestly I have the biggest and best imagination and was always dreaming. I had really high hopes for myself and they took it all away. I couldn’t care for school anymore, I didn’t want to be there at all but I don’t think anyone ever knew that. I tried so hard to fit in and be ‘cool’ but I lost so much of myself along the way. I did things I didn’t want to do, I acted in ways I totally regret (but as we know regret doesn’t change anything and we cant live there) and I wish I had have been stronger to speak up, or even just to keep their voices out of my head! So many nights I cried to sleep, I didn’t want to ever tell anyone and have them worry about me and I didn’t want to seem petty. I had to live with these people on a daily basis, I didn’t want to make matters worse. They had no idea what they were doing to me, I just laughed things off and pretended I didn’t care. It was silly things like leaving voicenotes talking about me, laughing at me in the corriders, throwing eggs at my house, having others try wind me up, leaving me out of things, honestly it makes me feel so silly writing about it but I’m putting it out there because maybe some feeling keeps coming up for you and you just cant figure out why or where it stems from. Do some work on yourself and heal yourself. I’ve forgiven those that hurt me, I’ve moved on from the hurt they’ve caused and now I have to be aware of changing my mindset everytime that feeling of rejection tries to raise its head out because 99% of the time that is not what its about at all and usually its actually got nothing to do with me at all and the other person hasn’t even given it a second thought. Personal development truly is a game changer, it has helped me so much to realise my worth, my potential and to be truely happy from within and I may never have worked on myself had I not joined an incredible supportive uplifting empowering community that embraces you and loves you for you are, who cheers you on believes in you on the days you’re not feeling it yourself and who inspires you to strive for progression every single day. For anyone going through issues in life, please get help, speak up, talk to people, listen to audibles, don’t retract into your own mind and let your negative thoughts overpower the positive ones, don’t let people steal your happiness and joy, life is only 10% of what happens to us, the other 90% is how we react to it. My dream is to ensure my boys mindsets are so strong and so powerful so that they wont let the outside world affect them they way it did me. And please please please don’t try to be like anyone else, the grass is never greener, you are perfect as you are, the real authentic genuinely happy you will radiate more love and happiness than you could ever imagine so don’t get consumed with trying to find it. If you haven’t found your tribe yet move on until you do and keep working on your mindset so your strong enough to do whatever it takes to live a life of abundance. Stay in your own lane, don’t look left or right, everyone is travelling in different directions in life and you’ll get seriously lost if you keep getting distracted from your own lane so stay focused, know what you want, know who you are, and keep going. Be so damn proud of yourself. I can’t go back and change things now and possibly you’re in a position you can’t either but draw the line in the sand and change it now and help to make sure other people don’t go through the same as we did. Use your challenges and your voice to be the inspiration someone you love needs to hear. I highly recommend the audible unfu#k yourself by Gary John Bishop that I listened to on youtube recently and I have a list of other books that might help also if you want to reach out I would be happy to chat but in the meantime thankyou for reading, take care and enjoy your journey. Life is no dress rehearshal we have one shot to make it everything we wanted. Lets go! Much love Sarah x

7 thoughts on “Learning to reject rejection!

  1. I’ve been through a similar path over the past few years. I was also bullied, but I don’t know whether or not that played a part.

    For me, I found it was a mental defense mechanism. I would tell myself, “the people who truly value me, want me around, and if they don’t invite me, or come to me for help, or whatever, they just don’t see my worth.” But the truth is I wasn’t doing my part and reaching out, I wasn’t offering, expressing interest or otherwise communicating my needs and desire to others – because that made me feel vulnerable.

    When I learned to begin expressing myself to the people around me better, I found that sense of being left out or rejected went away.

    Thanks for sharing!

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  2. In our generation of growth we we where told “Sticks and stones will break my bones but names will never hurt me!!!” But now I think we underestimate the power of words and growing our children with and maintaining their self worth, belief and confidence is so important for a life time of happinesses. This was an emotional read but I glad you have been able to stand taller and yet your amazing self shine.

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    1. Sorry I hit send to quick on my reply. Thanks for always being there for me and for taking the time to read. Hopefully our children will be strong and life a live of true happiness from within. Xx

      Like

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